Here’s your moment!

I am sitting in my bed thinking about how I desperately want my life to change.  I can see many ways in which God deserves more from me.  And if God deserves more then that must not be limited to spiritual things and my relationship to Him but also those things I give to others and myself.  In other words, my interdependent relationships deserve more from me and I deserve more from me. 

Often times I get paralyzed by the fear of failure and instead of pressing to victory I cushion the fall of defeat by only giving the best half of me I can give…  That half deserves a standing ovation-she is the best person that you can think up but the other half is slowly dying from fears asphyxiation.  I hang my head when I think about that.  Partially because I am aware that hiding doesn’t work and yet I continue in this sin that grace may abound—God forbid!

Ok so this is one of many changes I’d love to surrender to God and just let Him have His way in me and habit has me expecting 2011 to be different than 2010… That somehow I will allow God to be greater in me, to make greater changes in me starting 3 days from now at the stroke of midnight.  For years I have situated my hope and expectation on the seat of the New Year and have found myself disappointed because I depended too much on time and not the God of Change who lacks limitation and restraint. 

As I toil over this concept what I am being reminded of is that my God—the Miracle working God-- is the same yesterday, today, and forever more!  And because that is so, God can change my life and situation even right now.  If I fully rely on God what does the new year matter?!  I am sure that it does actually but it is secondary to our faithful God who is!

I think God is just waiting to work a miracle in our lives whenever we need it.  I can hear Him say, “Here’s your moment!”

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Looking past ourselves aint easy but NECESSARY!!!

Often times I find myself trying to self-gratify by the things I buy.  It can be anything... a watch, food, clothes, an ink pen.  I think I hope to comfort myself with some kind of possession but all attempts are futile.  What is worst about this exercise is that gratification happens but momentarily before I return to my state of discomfort and insecurity.  


Beth Moore discusses in the book how money or financial stability will not buy your security.  That is a word for me.  Why?  Because I often try to find my security in that card swipe or every online purchase. I try in hopes that that small gratification will some kind of way be magnified in me and it never happens.  I gamble with this concept like the lottery thinking maybe this will be the time I find my security.  And yet what happens is that I find myself more insecure singing the perpetual song, "I'm broke, I'm broke, I'm broke!".  As a college student this is a song that is normal for me to sing anyway but at this pace of finding security in my spending this song echos into my future threatens my future generations.


A good [man] leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner [is] laid up for the just. 
(Proverbs 13:22)


The Word of God is saying something to me right there! Stop spending and return to God what is His.  Let Him be my accountant and my security.  This is a legit struggle for me... really. So pray for me, I am praying for you.


Beth writes a great concept that we should all prayerfully adopt:  the more selfish we are, the more miserable we become.  The greedier we are the less secure we feel and the more we hoard things the more we should give things away.  That is a God principle and if we pay attention enough we will recognize its true.  Sad to say--it is fact for me.  Our call is to a dying world and our security to them is the only way we can point it to the light of Christ so that He can give hope, healing, restoration, change, future-- eternity.


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We Have This Treasure!

I am continually reading through the book God has pinned through His servant Beth Moore and continually I am amazed at how He calls me out and patches me up.  I have reached the chapter that talks about women and our insecurity toward other women.  If you are a women and you are honest you can surely identify this bad habit within yourself.  We compare ourselves to others.  We exaggerate what is real by esteeming other women which means we must subtract esteem from ourselves and we get caught up in this vicious cycle.  We say things like, "she is beautiful which means Imma duck" or countless other lies the devil speaks in our ears.


As women sometimes we are here in spite of our Christianity.  As I stared at my reflection on the pages, I saw all the ways that I dig myself into a pit in that I encourage insecurity in myself and when I compete I even encourage it in other women because I am trying to make myself more secure.  All attempts fail and I am caught in unedifying the body of Christ.  I am tempted to hang my head in shame realizing that this is real in me but I reach part of the book where the Word of God gives me goose-bumped-tear jerking-hope.  



For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us


(2 Corinthians 4:6, 7)

We dont have to be stuck in insecurity because all the surpassing power that overcomes this sin belongs to God and He is in us.  We have this treasure in us... mere jars of clay.  Oh what Good news that is!! Thank you Jesus!

God has given us the power to overcome all insecurity just by trustin in Him who is in us!!! Grasp that concept!!! Get it in your spirit!!!

I thank God for using Beth Moore to write this book.  I feel like I'm on the brink of Security!!! Yesss suuuhhhh!!!

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p.s. buy the book!!!

Knowing God Personally Changes Everything!

What I love the most about the author of "So Long, Insecurity" a one Beth Moore is that she rights from a "friend of God" perspective.  What I mean by that is she rights like she is a friend of God--- like they have a real relationship that reaches far beyond the boundaries of cliche.  This is a real rich blessing because it tells me that in order to really reach God to the point that I can truly surrender to God-- I have to be a real friend of His.

Maybe you are thinking "Duh, Keisha!!!" I get that but I think because I have been a "believer" so long that sometimes due to monotony or habit that I blindly walk the line of talking a good game concerning relationship with God and actually having one.  The good news is that God loves the heart of a woman and desires to call us friend like He did Moses.  He presses to declare she is a woman after my own heart. He even desires to take our insecurities and be our eternal security! Think about that for a minute!!! Are you walking the line of knowing just of Him and actually knowing His heart of hearts? Where are you on the relationship spectrum with Him?

Beth with every stroke of her pin she writes a real experience between her and God that I soo believe and desperately desire to arrive to that point with Him. Lets not put her up on a pedestal, she is man that she can  lie and the daughter of man that she must repent!  She is not above sin or reproach... She tells us this in her book (thats real). But at the moment of writing this book and many others she exhibits a right and striving relationship with God and points us to the cross.

The reason that it is the utmost importance to have a legit-unquestionable-sturdy-SECURE relationship with God is so that the power you have to choose in deciding wether each insecure moment is a moment that you are going to refuse to be insecure or not is for you and also for the next generation.  Our security effects our everyday life moment by moment but also the moments to come of our daughters, sisters, nieces, female cousins, and the list goes on.  God being our security changes the future of their insecurity because we are their examples.

Do you feel overwhelmed with pressure? Fearful that you may fail... well rest assured that in and of your own strength you will.  That is guaranteed. Only God can do this in you and guess what? He will that has also been promised.  There is yet hope for us and the generations to come.  Thank God... No really-- take a moment to just Thank God after all it is Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Men Are on to Us!!!

In the Beth Moore's book, "So Long, Insecurity" chapter 12 she thoroughly discusses the fact that men see our insecurities.  In this chapter there were a few responses to the question, "Where do you notice insecurity in women?"  And the answers these men gave were dead on.

For me, I think before really dealing with my own insecurities I kinda wanted them to be one of the "skeletons" in my closet of dirt.  Honestly I didn't and still don't want anyone to know that I am insecure, let alone be able to call out my insecurities by name. I really wanted them to be my secret.  And the fact that men, can see my insecurities is kinda disheartening but also motivating to become a more confident person.

Since I have said that let me also add that being a more confident person is God's design for our lives with or without a male companion.  And the changes we make about us should not happen because we want to change our image for men or anyone.  The changes that we are challenged to make in our life in getting rid of our insecurities should stem from our love for Him- Jesus- Lover- Savior- Friend- King- Protector- Provider- HUSBAND- EVERYTHING!!!

It is important that I remind myself of what my motives are and should be concerning the changes I am allowing God to make in my life because if the wrong motives sneak in no real change takes place.  For example if I try to become more secure so I can get a man- my new found security in God will be temporary and superficial.  But if this security thing is for God by God then staying securely grounded in Him will change my future forever.

Who is woman that God is mindful of us or the daughters of mothers that you visit us? (Prov. 8:4; emphasis added)

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The Power of Prayer and Understanding

It has been many moons since I have reflected on the writings of Beth Moore in her book, "So Long, Insecurity". The truth is I wanted to carry you with me on the journey but Chapter 9 is a prayer. Actually it is a heart felt confession and supplication before God where we asked Him to "Make a miracle out of us" in renting us from the hands of insecurity.  This prayer of pressing to the throne of God is drenched in thanksgiving and praise for what God has already done in us and will do. What happened in Chapter 9 is that God pinned through Beth a prayer I desperately needed to pray almost without need for alteration or addition.  This is a prayer that you have to personally experience for yourself. So let me say what I haven't said but have only implied... BUY THE BOOK! Let me say it again... BUY THE BOOK!

As I continued to read on  after the prayer, Beth discusses the truth that Men have insecurities as well.  This truth helped me to see men better.  I think I have the tendency to think that men are rarely insecure which is true but more than that is they get off easy.  But they did not get off easy, matter-of-fact, society's expectations on men kicks their butts too and should promote a system of support and compassion in us for them.  Who needs our compassion and support? Our Brothers and Fathers, our male friends and male cousins and nephews, our spouses and our boy friends... they all do.  I have learned that we have got to support them in their journey and not be so caught up in our own.  The truth is we have prayed and now we are walking out the process of deliverance because "this is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know He hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we asked of Him. ((1 John 5:14-15)).  Now because we are delivered from our insecurity we should help others to get to where He alone has redeemed us to.

That's a good word isn't it?!! BUY THE BOOK!!!

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A Trigger!!!!

The other day while reading Beth Moore, I found some interesting insight on the reason that most people go into an insecure episode.  She calls this insecure initiator a trigger.  For different people there are different triggers... matter of fact for every situation or insecurity there is a different trigger.  Identifying personal insecurities makes you more aware of your triggers.


Ok enough with the explanation... now here's the experience... 


Today I found myself waste deep in insecure operation because I overlooked the trigger.  When I recognized that I had strayed from the mark I held my breath hoping to keep the tears from flowing because  it broke my heart to see myself hoping to find security in a lie.  And while at this moment I even still feel the sting of operating in lies.... there is yet hope for me!


Listen! This is the hope of the gospel!  There is no possible way that, of myself, I can become secure.  No matter how many books I read or how many things I do.  It is the grace of God alone that catches me waste deep in reckless endangerment of the woman God has designed me to be.  And for this reason, being caught at anything less than full throttle, as far as insecurity is concerned, is grace at its best.


God is making moves in my life that I couldn't have thought up! Even better, God is not a respecter of persons.  I am not so special that this growth is just relative to me but it is available to everyone.  Getchu some and then do somthin!!!!


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Clothed in Strength and Dignity

In my reading of Beth Moore's "So Long, Insecurity"  I have reached the chapter where I can begin to look at  my ceiling-to-floor long list of insecurities and choose to heal.  But before she gives us the challenge to press through it all and fully rely on God, she paints a very clear picture of what our insecurities do to us and then how we respond to them.  Different people feel and respond different ways but everyone feels vulnerable in that way.  I for one feel exposed and naked... like everyone can see my secrets and are judging me in my nakedness and because of this very truth I retreat into hiding. I run as if the plague were chasing me and I disconnect from any relationship that has the potential to harm me in my weakness.

What is an interesting is that I felt that way in reading this book.  Vulnerable and exposed.  I get that Beth Moore has done the research and has personally struggled with the same things but her being able to pen so well my silent and secret reality had me hesitant to press through and get to the part of this lesson where God is glorified in my life. I guess I was afraid of what would happen next... would this book guide me in the way of my God and clothe me in Him?... Would my strength be restored or redeveloped? Would I again have my God given dignity? or Would I be left vulnerable and exposed?

Good news!!! "She is clothed with strength and dignity,..." (Proverbs 31:25).  God sees us and the exposure that we experience, He desires to clothe. And the weakness that we are is strength in Him!  What a glorious picture!!! He is our strength and our garment of righteousness!!!

At this point Beth reminds us of the importance of seeing Him in all things and relying on God's ability and purpose to love us well.  The Word of God calls us mighty women of valor and that's who we are.  The way we redeem our dignity in Him is by identifying our insecurity triggers and responding proactively to them differently while relying on the most High God to strengthen and clothe us in Him.  That's enough to shout about!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Let's Get Down and Dirty!!!

As I read again chapter 5 of Beth Moore's "So long, Insecurity" I am almost tempted to ask her to get out of my cool-aid because she has done everything but write my name in the book.  It's very humbling to understand the reality of what I look like.  Before, I would've have agreed with her when she said that we think "no one gets it!" but by and by I am understanding that people do.  There are many many people who get it.  Even that saddens me because I don't want anybody to get this.  This is not something you wish for as some kind of superlative!  Its not a quality that you want to have but it is very real.

Insecurity is not the worst place to be.  The worst place to be is knowing that you are insecure and accepting it as an unchangeable reality.  I've been there. Matter of fact I've been to a place where insecurity has become my life's expectation.  And while this has been my truth. It is a lie from the pit of hell and I am sending it back.  In the book Beth says that "Recognition is the first step to letting God get to the issue and heal it".  This has to be our life's expectation that the end result of letting God have it is healing! Beth encourages us with these words, "We who are in Christ are never hopeless, never without resources or divine help, even when our bodies are weak."

I must admit that reading these past few chapters was hard for me because she talks about insecurity in the full spectrum of things.  From the shallow reason's we are insecure to the down and dirty roots of the matter we identify ourselves. And as if looking at a list of reasons for my insecurity, it is hard to know that I am still marking checks on my list.  However, looking at the root of why gives me power to uproot it especially because I serve an omnipotent God! That is enough to know that if I continue to press in Him I wont be here long. In Him there is Hope and Healing and for that, I bless GOD!!!! So long, Insecurity!!!

So Long, Insecurity? (a book by Beth Moore)

Upon starting this book I think I completely underestimated the presence of all my insecurities.  I mean everyone knows that in some way or form that they are insecure about things in their lives.  Some women are insecure that their butts aren't big enough or about their weight.  Men are insecure about manly things I guess, I really wouldn't know... In the book Beth talks about Saul's insecurity came in the form of the man David, an amazing warrior that he elevated but then started getting more credit than he was. I guess the bottom line is that insecurity is not relative to time, or gender, or economic status or anything... it just is. It is comforting to know that the battle that I am more aware of today is not one that I fight alone. What sucks about that reality is that many people are stuck in the battle and aren't winning.

In reading this book though, I am sooooo aware of my insecurities.  Its kinda breath taking really.  I think I was aware that I had some insecurities but now I am aware when I respond a certain way or think something or even things I do, too many of them are in the name of me being insecure.  I have been spotted and called out!!!  And while this experience is not one of comfort or delight it does carry much weight in hope. I believe it is God's desire that I become victorious over my insecurities and become secure.  What a blessed hope! ((exhale))... Security!!! Hmmm I am not sure what that feels like... but it is good to be on the journey to doing so.

Beth Moore's "So Long, Insecurity"

At this moment I find myself in need of some major discipleship.  I mean my true and honest desire is that God and I truly are one but I think the problem is that life throws curve balls and the devil is upping his game so that I stay grounded and never take flight.  His ploys are relentless-- I mean we can find this evident in that things that we used to do with God are now boring and monotonous which makes getting in God's presence difficult.  Its kinda upsetting but I understand that in order to keep things fresh with God we gotta change it up. So before when I was kicking it with God the old fashioned way with the Word in front of me and pen in hand... I had to change it up. I am not saying that enjoying the presence of God that way doesn't work... I am saying that only doing in that way wont really help me grow as much as I have the potential to because it is not as enjoyable right now.

I, like most people find spiritual maturity in reading.  So recently as in 2 days ago I bought Beth Moore's "So long, Insecurity".  Let me say that I had no idea, when I subconsciously said to her "disciple me through what you have written as God is discipling you", what I was signing up for.  I guess, I thought this would be some great inspirational reading that will help me deal with some issues and produce growth in my life.  I am sorry that I limited God in that way.  I have reached chapter 4 and thus far Beth has marched down my street, walked in my driveway, stepped on my porch and kicked down the door.

If I am honest it doesn't feel good for God to, within yourself, expose what He is about to clean out but I'm truly grateful.  Thus far in the book we have just thoroughly discussed what my insecurities look like and even the misconception of what security truly is.  I am now consciously aware that when I make a statement or do something if it is dripping in insecurity.  This journey is really just between God and I and yet I am naked and exposed and vulnerable...  But the best place to be is naked before God because this gives Him the opportunity to clothe you in His character. I have a ways to go but as for what I am reading right now, if I apply it I will be a secure woman.

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