Upon starting this book I think I completely underestimated the presence of all my insecurities. I mean everyone knows that in some way or form that they are insecure about things in their lives. Some women are insecure that their butts aren't big enough or about their weight. Men are insecure about manly things I guess, I really wouldn't know... In the book Beth talks about Saul's insecurity came in the form of the man David, an amazing warrior that he elevated but then started getting more credit than he was. I guess the bottom line is that insecurity is not relative to time, or gender, or economic status or anything... it just is. It is comforting to know that the battle that I am more aware of today is not one that I fight alone. What sucks about that reality is that many people are stuck in the battle and aren't winning.
In reading this book though, I am sooooo aware of my insecurities. Its kinda breath taking really. I think I was aware that I had some insecurities but now I am aware when I respond a certain way or think something or even things I do, too many of them are in the name of me being insecure. I have been spotted and called out!!! And while this experience is not one of comfort or delight it does carry much weight in hope. I believe it is God's desire that I become victorious over my insecurities and become secure. What a blessed hope! ((exhale))... Security!!! Hmmm I am not sure what that feels like... but it is good to be on the journey to doing so.
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